Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
