if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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