im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
