There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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