Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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