The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
