Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize