Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
