At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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