don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize