ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize