Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
