just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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