brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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