Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
