Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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