You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
