I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
