I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
