Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
