he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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