Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
