In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
