So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
