ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
