remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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