when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize