why didn't you poke me back
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
