dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
