Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
