Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize