I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
