Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Terrible idea I love it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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