I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
