Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
