I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
