What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
