I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
