We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
