oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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