I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
