her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize