oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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