How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
