i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
