just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
