Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
