...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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