Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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