think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Blood and glitter go together right?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
