some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
