Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
