Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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