They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize