There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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