About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
