Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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