I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
