So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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