there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize