his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
