God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
