i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
