God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to calm my uterus...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
