Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Someone came in the potted fern
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
