We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
