so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
