Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
