Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
