Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
