belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
