i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
