she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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