Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
